Like how I was
by Kaitos-V-ibrator
Summary: Zexal spoilers episode 111 plius: After Astral's death, Kaito attempts to speak with Yuma and Ryouga in a vague attempt at comfort. Finding Yuma virtually unreachable, he goes to visit Ryouga in the hospital to see how he's coping with Rio's grim state.


Swallowing his shame as he found himself at a loss yet again visiting Yuma, Kaito cursed under his breath as he made his way outside the house and refused to meet anyone's gaze.

It was times like these he wished he was able to pull of that kind of positive energy Yuma could shoot out that someone always made everyone feel better.

But with him so detached from everything, it had them all suffering a quiet kind of wave of emptiness. Even though he had been able to see Astral as Ryouga and Kotori could, he never felt the same kind of attachment the others did.

Astral had said it himself that they were friends. That they dueled together, fought against the Barians together, and he…he had helped rescuse Haruto.

But instead of a crippling kind of depression Yuma was undergoing, he just felt this itching lonliness seep around his heart.

It wasn't even that he talked to him often or anything like that…just that his presence had been something he had never known he would miss so much.

The times Yuma had tracked him down around towns and they dueled for…for fun, Kaito couldn't help recalling. He had even got to duel Astral one-on-one again. It was…fun.

He had fun with his…friends…

And now those times were over.

As much as he felt it weak to admit to himself, he ached for some kind of way to mourn him properly. But it wasn't his place to mourn anything.

Yuma had been the one who was stricken the worst, so he would do what little he could to try and aide the younger.

It had been so sudden that Kaito felt a lingering sense of anger shoot through him at spontaneous moments in the day.

This feeling of weakness…being so powerless to help anyone around him…

Ryouga's absesnce had also caused him to nearly storm over and demand he attempt to speak with Yuma, his grief having temporarily robbed him of his memory of Rio's current state.

Instantly feeling a cold sweat wash over him as he hauled himself up the hospital stairs to where the Kamishirio's spent far too much time, Kaito paused at the doorway to observe the scene before him.

Ryouga was slouched over a well worn in chair with his fists digging into his face at a sharp angle. It looked as if he hadn't moved in hours…maybe he had fallen asleep that way?

Kaito knew better than anyone what it was like to watch over a loved one, not knowing when and…and if they were to awaken.

Feeling a sudden urge to protect the younger boy before him, Kaito felt his body shift from the doorway towards where Ryouga twitched in silence from what Kaito knew to be the anguish of the undeniable slew of night terrors.

Holding out a hand to place on the others shoulder in a vague gesture of comfort, Kaito paused limply wondering if anything he could do could give his friend any sense of comfort.

He had already failed miserably over at Yuma's, and now seeing Ryouga so torn up…

Shaking his head, knowing fully well how helpless Ryouga must be feeling, Kaito began to shrug off his jacket.

It wasn't much, but he could at least try and keep the younger a bit more comfortable. Especially if he inisted on sleeping on a lumpy chair that was far too well aquainted with his rear end.

Dragging Ryouga into an upright position as he draped his jacket over the sleeping boy, Kaito leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Ryouga's forehead as he would with Haruto.

Having spent the greater part of his teen years sleeping beside Haruto's bedside with little if any responce, Kaito felt his heart ache for the pain Ryouga was going through.

It wasn't just the stress of having her taken away from him so abruptly after just getting her back,

But with the realization of his 'past life' had been bearing down harder on the younger than Kaito had initally percieved.

As much as he loathed the Barians, he still couldn't help but differentiate Ryouga and Rio from their group.

They weren't the ones who had come after Haruto, nor were they the ones who were after the Numbers or Astral world.

Ryouga and Rio were fighting just as hard as the rest of them against these forces to get back at them for all they had taken from them.

He had…no reason to feel remorsful for something he couldn't control.

Brushing back a few strands of hair out of Ryouga's face, Kaito nodded satisifed that Ryouga's expression had grown less tense in his slumber into a neutral calm.

Kaito took a few steps back to rest against the wall and shut his eyes for a few moments. There really wasn't much he could do…he should get back to work trying to pin-point where the

Barians are…

Sighing a bit wistfully to himself, Kaito lamented that he would be of no use here any longer, and that it was time for him to get back to work.

If he couldn't help his friends, he could at least make some progress in their mission.

It was going to be a long night.


End file.
